Unraveling the Veil

What is lifting the veil, on an individual level? It’s the revealing of yourself to you. It’s peeking back at all the moments, feelings, thoughts that you had but instantly shut down. It’s remembering the parts of you that make you who you are, but that you forget to appreciate. Have gratitude for yourself. Have gratitude for your patience with yourself. And if you don’t have patience with yourself? Now is the time to start.

I wanted to write. I wanted to use writing to make myself heard. Even as a child I wrote down in a school notebook sidebar that one day I would write something that millions of people across the world would read, and that it would empower them. My biggest fear in life has been that I don’t have an important unique message for humanity. While this is something I don’t always acknowledge, it takes up a lot of space in my subconscious. It manifests in my reactionary thoughts, feelings and actions. 

I strive daily to find what is unique about myself. I have never accepted many labels that could easily be applied to me, knowing that one day I will find what is uniquely my own. I feel strongly that this is the ultimate struggle of humanity. We know we are important, but we can’t tell you why. This is why we howl at the moon.

Expression of uniqueness is divinity. 

The reason this time in history is so important and transformational at every conceptual level, is that we will be discovering our uniqueness. We will understand what it truly means to be special – this word that we sometimes ridicule, but long so deeply to be.

Every cell in my body tells me that my purpose is to document my journey. This has always been my habit, my secret lover. I understand unity by experiencing the feelings of the collective in my own literally unique inhabitance of space and time.

I’ve pursued channeling, and the idea of that connection does intrigue me. But my ultimate desire and most cherished activity of my existence on this planet is to channel myself, the source that is at my very own core. It’s why I feel drawn to meditations and accounts of the center of the earth; it’s why one of my past lives is preserved in history through letters to my mother during World War I.

Today I make a promise to myself to fulfill my purpose and goal, despite what supposed concessions or rewards become entangled with it along the way. I love myself, and I don’t care who knows it. My blessing to you is that I hope my words inspire you to love yourself more, because there is no limit to how much you can.

Today I read this Rumi quote:

“I have been a seeker and I still am, but I stopped asking the books and the stars. Soul receives from soul that knowledge, therefore not by book nor from tongue.”

I simultaneously resonated and bristled at it. While home alone, I decided to partake of one of my favorite pastimes – smoking a little weed and then hopping in the shower. I put on some ‘70s dance party essentials and soon found myself dancing in the shower. It sounds dangerous, but I promise I’ve been doing it for years! I meet myself most directly in the shower. I’m a water sign, and I resonate highly with whales and the idea of holding down a vibration. But the dancing started long before that. I used to say that I wrote my best in the shower. Even the writing that just ended up being about writing. Because that is my journey, and, as I mentioned, it’s ever-present yet elusive. 

Today’s synchronicity spiraled from humanity’s most poignant struggle, to relating a quote to myself, to getting lost in a tangent of self-reflective thought – while trying to convey a spiritual experience that sent me running out of the shower unshaved and unconditioned. Light bounces from mirror to mirror along these spirals of synchronicity, shining upon bits of information that come revolving into our view – if we can only pay attention.

And so when water and weed (representing my most resonant elements of water and earth from my Pisces sun and Taurus moon) allow me to sink into this vortex of synchronistic energy, I find that it sparks my excitement and energy to pursue my passion (my dormant fire and air)!

Today I also read a quote about how when you wonder what other people will think of you, you’re really only judging yourself. This is poignant because I must as a human allow the thought to penetrate that asks, “What will people think of this?” (that is, the writing that I am sharing), and I have to let that thought float right on by. If it gets stuck, I have to take a look at it. I have to consciously remind myself that the whole point is to carry the intention of expressing my uniqueness. The reflection of it back to me through others is secondary. It’s informative and challenging, yes, but it aids to allow only more learning about myself as a result, not to cause me to feel negatively about myself. No one can cause that, and if I catch myself thinking that they do, I again have to remind myself that my self love is unshakable. Being human is proactive! So much so that I went to continue my shower and somehow found myself right back here typing these words instead of shaving my legs.

And then I step back and think, not what will OTHERS think of this, but what will FUTURE ME think when I go back and read it?! Sometimes my musings don’t age well within my perception (I’m always “more right” later in linear time … I simply have more knowledge and experiences) but I can be grateful for this because it demonstrates forward progress, and there is nothing embarrassing about that!

I recently watched a short webinar called Awaken Through Writing, and all I could think is how right it is that you can write your way into your subconscious and meet your higher self. Talk about expanding your awareness! Forget the outer world, our inner worlds are deeper than oceans, and it’s nothing short of exciting to think of studying myself into infinity … because that includes you, us and everything! We’re the same, we’re unique, we’re special.